Latest Victim of the E.Coli Outbreak

This was just too funny not to share!

Canceling Credit Cards - Priceless!

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge.The balance had been $0.00, now somewhere around $60.00.

A family member placed a call to Citibank.Here is the exchange:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?" (I really like this part!!!!)
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you,she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply."
(This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew."
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure."

After they get the fax…

Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?

(Priceless!!)

New toy or Money pit? Hmmnn...

Well, Here 'tis! My new toy! Or my latest money pit. Only time will tell. But it is so C-O-O-L! This was homemade by a man back in '85! It was docked 6 years ago, and never touched again. Everything was working perfectly 6 years ago...no telling now.

Doesn't matter though, the boat itself didn't cost but a buck. Yep, you read it right...a whole dollar for it. Don't get me wrong, it costs $200 a month for docking fees - but $1.00 for this little jewel is well worth it!

I will leave updates here and there during the "re-furbishing" process. So stay tuned!!!

Gassed?

I think this says it all. I live/work out of my car...and this sign can't say it any better. Every time I pull up to the tanks I can't get this image out of my head. While my cheap ass company brags about reimbursing us for our mileage - it in no way evens out. 27 cents per mile now does not cover gas, ins., maint., and the general wear & tear we have to put on our personal vehicles while working for them. Yes, it helps...but doesn't cover it like it did before.
No, I shouldn't complain...I do have a job - a very good job, but these oil tycoons are...well...are sticking it to us in more than one way. Fuckers! That is all - Have a nice day :)

Where have you been all my life?!

Holy Shit Creek Batman! Where have these been? I can't tell you how many times I have needed one of these. I'll take 2 dozen please, and see ya next week!